Exclusive Interview: Melissa Etheridge
Melissa Etheridge
Melissa Etheridge
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    Daniela Costa
  • April 3, 2015 - 2:56pm
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Melissa Etheridge is an American legend. A Grammy and Academy-award winning singer-songwriter, she came out as a lesbian in 1993 and has been one of our favorite celesbians ever since. Gay Vegas recently chatted with the rock star.

So Melissa, when was the last time you were in Las Vegas?

I go there a couple of times a year. My wife loves Las Vegas. Loves it, loves it.

I’ve been there so many times I don’t remember exactly when the last time was.

What is one of your favorite casinos?

We like to go to the Wynn. That’s usually where we end up is the Wynn. And I’ve always loved the Hard Rock.

Speaking of your wife, you and Linda got married in May of 2014. Do you call her wife or partner?

You know, I call her wife. She fits wife very well. Now she doesn’t call me wife very often because that doesn’t quite fit. Unfortunately in our community we don’t have the words. I wish we could create the words for what we are as partners.

How did you and Linda meet?

Linda and I met years ago. We met in 2001. She was working, doing a television show at the time called “That ‘80s Show”.

She called me into that. She wanted me to work with her. I’d never met her prior. The show didn’t work out, but our new friendship did.

We were friends for eight, nine years, best friends, before my last relationship fell apart and she actually started helping me out as a best friend and that soon blossomed into what was obviously, “Wait a minute, this is my partner.” I’ve never done it that way. I usually had done it where you meet someone and you’re physically attracted to them and sexually attracted to them, and then hopefully you can be friends with them. To do it the other way, where you’re best friends with someone for years and years and then realize that you are intimately attracted to them and sexually attracted to them, that’s a charge.

Your one year wedding anniversary will be in May. Any plans?

We have another thing between us that’s pretty unique. We share a birthday. May 29th is her birthday and my birthday. We were both born in the same year. Hours apart. We decided to get married on that weekend.

We usually give each other a vacation. We go somewhere – just her and I. Each of us dedicating our time to each other is our gift to each other. Time is the greatest gift we have.

Speaking of great gifts, you have a beautiful family – four children. Did you ever imagine yourself having such a big family?

No. No. No. I was a gay rock star. There wasn’t going to be any children or anything. That was not in my plans. When you discover you’re gay in the ‘70s, you don’t think about kids at all. It meant that you weren’t going to have children. It wasn’t until the ‘90s and the relationship I was in then, that my partner at the time, Julie, started talking about kids and I went, “Well I suppose we can have kids. Yeah, if there’s a way to do it, sure.” Certainly the greatest thing that ever happened to me was my four kids. I love them, insanely.   

You mentioned the ‘70s. How old were you when you realized you were a lesbian?

I think it really started becoming obvious to me when I was about 15, 16. I mean I didn’t know what it was before then. You don’t realize you’re different and there wasn’t an option back then.

There was nobody out then. It was a whispered, awful thing. “Lesbian! She’s a lesbian.” I remember hearing that in like ninth grade and going, “What does that mean?” And then hearing what it meant and you get that feeling deep inside, “Oh oh, that might be who I am.”

It wasn’t until I first kissed a girl when I was 17 that I said, “Oh yes, this is it. There is no turning back.”

What was your family’s views and reaction to your orientation? Did that shape you into who you are today?

I was the closest with my father. He was just my best friend. Amazing. And when I finally came out to him before I left home – I sat him down and said, “I have to tell you something,” and I would never get around to it and he was just all worried. By the time I said it, he was like, “Oh, is that all? Yeah, I figured as much.” Basically he looked at me and said, “Look, I don’t understand it, but as long as you’re happy.” And that, just that solid base that I came from meant the world. That’s the sort of thing that helped me come out publicly.

You’re also a cancer survivor. You were diagnosed with breast cancer in 2004, and you’ve played a huge role in supporting breast cancer awareness. You even rocked a baldhead during your Grammy Awards’ night tribute to Janis Joplin. What was that all like for you?

The whole experience of being diagnosed with cancer was just a major wake up and a big change in my life.  By the time I got up on the stage at the Grammys, I had been through an incredible change. A spiritual awakening actually.

I had to stop making music because I thought other people wanted to hear something and I needed to make the music that I love. It set me on a whole path about my life and about my journey. So getting the opportunity to perform at the Grammys, I knew I’d be bald. It was a very personal experience for me. I wanted to present myself again to the world. Now I am 10 years cancer free!

I know you are a big supporter of medicinal marijuana and that you used it during your chemo treatment. In fact, it has helped a lot of people who are in pain and dealing with the adverse reactions of chemo therapy. Any day now medical marijuana dispensaries will begin selling marijuana in Nevada. Can you tell me about your experience?

Yes. I still use cannabis as a medicine. I’m actually very connected with medicinal marijuana in the state of California. I’m connected with a dispensary here because I really believe that it’s future as a medicine is huge and also recreationally - eventually.

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I know medicinal marijuana is not for everyone, for example, my aunt Nani has stage four cancer and had to crawl into a ball in a corner from how it made her feel.

Indeed marijuana is not for everyone, but, as a medicine, I would tell your aunt there are strains being grown of cannabis that are low THC and high CBD’s. The THC is the euphoric part that can get people all paranoid and go, “Whoa! I don’t want to lose my mind!” So we grow plants that are low to none of THC and high CBD’s providing the pain and anxiety relief without that psychotropic effect. So, they are medicines and I hope to be connected with some of the dispensaries that are going on in Nevada.

We invited our readers to ask questions over social media. Jamie Cothran asks, “Who do you most want to collaborate with?”

Oh gosh, I’m the kind of artist that’s open for business. I love any musicians that want to collaborate. It’s such a wonderful art. Right now I’m collaborating with Jerry Wonda from The Fugees. He worked on the last album and we’re doing some more now. I love to write with people. I love to sing with people. I still want to sing a song with Steven Tyler from Aerosmith. That would be epic. Then I want to collaborate with people all the way from the other end. Come on Miley Cyrus, let’s sing something! I’m up for anything.

I purchased your latest album “This Is M.E.” and I felt like I really needed some Melissa Etheridge in my life!

Awwww

Your album is amazing, the songs are incredible! You have a song called “Take My Number” and there were some very emotionally charged lyrics. What was this song about for you?

It’s a song about a transition time. I am both characters in the song, one who is divorced with a couple of kids thinking love is not for me. And I am also the other character saying, “No, don’t give up.” You never know what’s going to happen in the next moment, so just hang on. All of that is wrapped up into a lovely fictional story about seeing someone that is at a critical point and reaching out a hand. It’s about a sweet, helping thought, but sweet thoughts can start fires.

In the music video for Take My Number, there is some nostalgic imagery and I wanted to ask about that and the guy who is in it a few times.

That’s my dad!

That’s your dad?

Yeah, I found some old home video footage. Up until I was five or six years old, my father took those old movies with no sound. We had a flood in our house and it destroyed everything so I took these old damaged films to the UCLA Film and Television Archive  and they were able to save some footage so I used some of that.

Well you have nothing to worry about now because it’s on YouTube forever!

Yes! Forever! Yay!

The Who Are You Waiting For song was that a song intended for Linda?

Yes! I started writing about our relationship and then, halfway through the song, realized this is our wedding song and these are my vows and performed it at our wedding.

All the Way Home – very sexy song! I feel like I have had those drives home when I haven’t seen my partner for a long time. Tell me about that song.

(Laughs) Well that’s it! We unfortunately spend a lot of time apart, Linda and I, because of our work and sometimes when I am coming back, It’s like, look out! I have no reason to not celebrate that I am alive and on fire for my wife. I want to celebrate that, so I do!

In the song, A Little Bit of Me, you reference that we are all a little bit of each other. Can you expand on that?

It’s the basis of spirituality and the basis of all religion. Namaste means the spirit in me recognizes the same spirit in you. It’s that oneness – do unto others as you would have them done unto you. If we can tap into that universal truth, that there’s a little bit of all of us in each other, it can change the world. I believe it is changing the world on a quantum and spiritual level. We are connected energetically.

So tell me, any plans of coming to Vegas on your tour?

Yes, yes! August 7th at the Pearl Concert Theater inside Palms Casino Resort.

 

Melissa’s latest album “This Is M.E.” is available on iTunes and Amazon, as well as big and small retailers. Pick up a copy and visit www.melissaetheridge.com to check out her tour dates and locations.

Check out Melissa Etheridge's post on Facebook giving Gay Vegas a shoutout!

 

Pick up the latest issue of Gay Vegas Magazine to read Melissa's interview on marriage, cancer, Marijuana, Vegas, and more! You can also read it online here: gayvegas.com/medirect

Posted by Melissa Etheridge on Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Check out Melissa's video "Take My Number."